Don’t go. Please.

Firstly, if you can observe human nature, write about it, and be funny, then you can do that anywhere. Although your initial source was your mentalist workplace (which is no worse than one or two giggle factories I’ve suffered in), just because you won’t be there does not mean you won’t be subjected to mentalists.

Second, there is imagination. It’s a long time since what’s-his-name sat in a cubicle but his Dilbert creation is stil going strong. Who cares if it’s not 100% true? Since when did stand-up comics & authors tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Also, we want to know what you are doing. By keeping on writing you keep up your contact with your current – and future – audience. It doesn’t matter that the name may become seemingly irrelevant: standing or sitting waiting in offices & shops under flourescent lights – while your life force ebbs away even faster than the minutes are wasted, but slower than your will to live evaporates – is not unique to desk-bound office workers. Just try waiting in the line for any government official to tell you “I don’t care if it was me that gave you form 41B last week but now I’m telling you to fill in form 41C instead.”

When comedy stalwarts Mark Lamarr and Jo Brand do a stand-in together for someone else’s radio show, they end up talking shop. They get another comedian on with the intention of talking about the book / video / tour and end up teling us about starting out, agents, changing rooms, stalkers, being on the road, B&Bs, fake & friends in the industry and so on. Hearng about what goes on behind the scenes is fascinating stuff and is perfectly valid to treat is as material.

If you keep writing online, you actually make it harder for others to pinch your material. “That bloke on stage pinched that; that story was on the DUFL site months ago.”

The “Web 2.0 model” (whatever that is!) advises that if you give stuff away for free online, then people buy your material & pay to watch your shows. There’s thousands of people making a livin that way. (One day the music industry will realise that’s thir business model too and they should stop trying to prosecute 13 year olds for listening to their peer’s music collection.) If you cease to exist online, you cease to exist.

By continuing to wite, you keep yourself in our consciousness. Then when someone says “What do you want for Christmas / birthday” we might say “Oh, I dunno. Oh, yes I do! That new DUFL book / video.” It was 20 years between me first hearing a bootleg Kevin Bloody Wilson tape at school and then going to one of his gigs in the UK and buying a T-shirt, a mug and one of EVERY CD has has produced. He also has a web site with free stuff. As does Weird Al Yankovich (”Don’t Download This Song” is, of course, a free download.)

Lastly, you must not stop writing because I’m a needy scrounger. I spent almost all of 2009 out of work and increasingly desperate. Your site was one of those that helped keep me sane. Whenever I read one of your posts, it reminded me that being in work really is worse than being out of work.

Thank you.

Please don’t stop writing.

Don’t abandon us desk-jockeys now, just when you’ve given us hope…

I saw your show on Monday night – fantastic! I hope you’re feeling a helluva lot better, you looked like you might collapse at any moment. That would’ve been kinda funny. It’s okay, there’s always a Dr in the crowd when someone faints.

More the merrier I guess. Glad the show is reaking of success. See you April 9th!

Remember, don’t hold back

Still swearing,

Age