Stuck in the Rat Racist

1stApr. × ’09

I was just lectured on being a racist.
Stood over, glared at under serious brows and told that my behaviour is unacceptable.
One of the girls I work with, Steph, is Filipino. She’s lovely.
In her four years since moving to this country, she’s completed a University Degree, found a job, gotten married and to top it off, she was learning to speak English the whole time. Her accent is amazing too. She stumbles on some phrases, but on the whole, I’d say her English is on par with an eight whiskey sales-rep. Slightly annoying, yet awkwardly comprehendible.

Steve, from Sales, never seems to understand her. Steph’s words just don’t filter in. He’ll stand there grinning like an autistic toddler, and then he’ll ask me to translate. He doesn’t even wait until she’s left. He’ll just look at me and mouth “What the hell was that?

Steph has only just learned what the word “gay” means. It’s kind of adorable, especially when she asked if one of our colleagues was “gaying” other men from behind.

 I laughed and said
The shit that comes out of your mouth is hilarious

Steve overheard my comment, stormed over to my desk and told me to apologise to Steph. I was pretty taken aback. I’ve never seen Steve look angry, other than the time the accounts girl wouldn’t reimburse his receipt for a client lunch, at a bar called “The Engorged Kitten

 Steve said
That’s racist. She can’t talk properly. Just because she was from China, doesn’t mean she should be treated like a monkey

 Steph curtly snapped “The Phillipines

 He said “yeah, there’s some on my desk

 After the painful silence, Steve walked out towards the cafeteria and as he walked past one of our other sales guys, calls out “What up Nigga-tits?”

 I honestly can’t tell if he’s a real person or performance art.

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