Why Did the Chick Cross the Road?

22ndJun. × ’09

This morning was freezing cold. Cold enough to necessitate several layers of clothing, including a scarf and gloves. Ulrich sidled up next to me at the traffic lights wearing only a t-shirt and jeans. The man is not human. He stared directly at me without saying a word. I did my best to ignore him. He craned his awkward neck further into my field of vision. I still ignored him. He raised his arm and pointed right at me, still saying nothing. I sighed and said “Hey Ulrich” His only response was to ask me if I had a web cam at home. Then he stopped himself and said

Oh wait, you don’t have a girlfriend. Nevermind

I looked up at the lights but that little green man is never ready to walk when you need him. To be honest, I think the little red man didn’t want to go so he could eavesdrop. As the morning traffic roared past us, I noticed a woman wearing a scarf around her head on the opposite side of the street, clearly she was recovering from cancer. Ulrich raised his arm once more, pointing directly at her. He then turned to me, his arm still jutting outwards and said

See that chick? She’s awesome for two reasons.
One – you know she’s got a case of the bald
everywhere.
Two – she may not be around for that long either

I turned to Ulrich and told him he was a tool. His creepy grin stretched out over his face and he replied “Yeah, but I’m the right tool for the job

Experts claim that smoking marijuana is the gateway to heroin use. I think it’s trying to take away the image of pelvic thrusting at traffic lights.

 

Yo, where my tweeps at? – http://twitter.com/DUFL

Also, if you’d like some love life advice, then hit up Plenty More Fish

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One Comment

  1. Ulrich is king
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 7:39 PM | Permalink

    how freakin awesome is ulrich

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