Wackronym

8thSep. × ’09

As I was tip-tap-typing away at my keyboard, I couldn’t help but feel as though something was a little askew. It was almost imperceptible, just a sort of gut feeling that my tiny world was somehow different. I leaned back in my chair and surveyed the landscape of cords, hastily scribbled notes and a collection of highlighters that I’ve never once used. It took me a moment to figure it out, but when it clicked, I was amazed I had missed it.

I now have an A4 page of laminated office propaganda on the wall of my cubicle. The contents of the page is a vertically written acronym with the full words typed next to each letter. The font so boldly bolded says SYNTHERGIZE. Which amazes me in so many ways, that to type them down here would almost certainly result in tomorrow’s headline “Office Worker Snaps and Builds Igloo From Co-worker’s Teeth

Here it is in all it’s glory.

Supportive
Yes
Newness
Terrific
Happy
Electric
Really
Good
I Can Totally Do It!
ZE Best

I guess all I will say is that for one thing, “ZE Best” technically doesn’t fit into being an acronym and “I Can Totally Do It!” is an entire sentence. Just looking at it makes my brain try to push my eyeballs out so that it can make its escape.

Without even looking at this I knew it was the result of the Office Admin girl. They’re an interesting breed of worker. Although I’m not sure worker is the right term. While most of us spend our time trying to look busy by doing nothing, office admins actually are busy because they’re doing nothing. As a way of validating their use, they constantly come up with increasingly inane ways to increase team morale. A pointless task, because the work itself is so meaningless, you can’t generate any excitement, joy or pride from getting the job done

It’s like Hitler giving out gift baskets to those lovely Jewish chaps for building their own mass graves.

Only the baskets are filled with bacon bits. 

 

Yo? Where my tweeps at?! – http://twitter.com/DUFL

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One Comment

  1. Brandon
    Posted September 17, 2009 at 3:10 PM | Permalink

    hmm…

    I have a feeling that a lot of bacon bits are actually kosher

    I know most are vegetarian

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