Taxi Rancour

9thSep. × ’09

Whenever I’m running late for work I find the best option is to just jump into a taxi. The problem for me is that each time I’m in one I always seem to make the same folly and that is to fill the B.O. soaked silence with a question. It’s usually one of two, the first is “How is your day going?” and the second is “Do you enjoy being a cab driver?” As soon as the words push past my lips, I instantly regret it, as I know I’ll be punished with a broken English rant about why learner drivers should have their genitals removed.

You get the exact same feeling of regret if you eat McDonalds or sleep with your best friend’s sibling. Five minutes after you’ve finished, you feel a weight in the pit of your stomach and you just know that it was a real bad idea.

Sadly, it was the latter question I asked of my driver. He explained that the taxi driving gig was just a job and not a career. He didn’t really enjoy it because he found sitting around doing nothing all day to be incredibly boring. I ventured to ask what his second job was. He told me he was an ATM security guard. I laughed quite loudly at his joke.

It wasn’t one. I counted the furrows in his brow and figured that for each one I would give him a dollar tip.

Maybe I’m wrong though and his second job is chock full of action. Although, to my knowledge, there isn’t a show called Law & Order: ATM Division.

Yo! Where my tweeps at? –

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