The Family Manager

15thSep. × ’09

Craig isn’t someone I often speak about, mainly because I endeavour to have nothing to do with him whatsoever. He’s one of the upper management team, silver-haired, bloated and grey from wine. The only times I do have to converse with him are when I help him use his iphone. He bolsters his ego with the latest micro-gadgetry, possessing absolutely no knowledge on how to work them. Consequently he’s at war with these objects that all set out to undermine him. It’s as though each shiny toy pumps breath into the ego-balloon only to have it deflate the moment he tries to work the knot.

Although a better way to sum up Craig’s character is to relate the time that he told an overweight girl in our office that she shouldn’t wear skirts until she’d had a food abortion.

I had been called into Craig’s office to show him how to use the speakerphone, but when I arrived I found that he wanted me to download an application that made a picture of a woman become naked by shaking the phone, which flung her clothes off.

As I showed him how to download the application, I noticed some photos of his family. He picked up the one with a smiling girl in it and offered it to me. As I admired the pretty young girl in the frame, Craig said to me

That’s my daughter. She’s legal now

I’ve heard the phrase bite your tongue before, but this is the first time I realised it in my own mouth. I searched for some sort of silver lining in what he’d said to me. I figured that maybe she was from another marriage, after all she seemed attractive for one thing, and if she was, then it would only slightly lessen the amount of disgust I felt. I asked if she was his step-daughter and Craig replied

Ha! I wish!”

Can you cite incestual harassment as your reason for leaving a job?


Yo! Where my tweeps at? –

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  1. SL
    Posted September 26, 2009 at 11:19 AM | Permalink

    I think you’d have an obligation to ;-)

  2. Telf
    Posted October 6, 2009 at 10:06 PM | Permalink


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