Who’s Your Deity?

22ndSep. × ’09

I’d like to tell you about an entity we are all touched by from time to time. You might chalk up a wondrous experience to luck or fortune, but you would be wrong. When something happens to you that can only be described through a series of awkward dance moves, then he has embraced you. He is Radicles, the Greek God of Rad. Should you be blessed from on high by Radicles you will be able to kick-flip over anything, even if you’re not on a skateboard. Radicles is a God who can give you much radness, sometimes at the cost of those around you, which when you think about it, is pretty rad.

It all began with one of the guys from Marketing. I don’t even know his name I think he’s a junior. His fashion style is best described as polyester with vinyl overtones and the peroxide streaks in his hair would cost more than my whole outfit. Poor Junior needed to ask Steve about something. Steve is a Salesman. He’ll only acknowledge you if he needs something from you and unless you punctuate your sentences with the words “breasts” or “revenue streams” then his already vacant eyes withdraw to his happy place. I imagine Steve’s happy place to be filled with gyrating strippers who seductively whip delicate lacies from their bodies before spreading their legs and shooting hundred dollar bills out of themselves like a malfunctioning ATM. His eyes rolling back in the bliss of fluttering currency.

Like the rest of our sales guys, Steve talks in Caucasian Ghettonese. It’s a mish-mash of MTV dialects, and if you’re young and white – he will speak to you like you’re a card carrying member of the Black Panthers. Someone should have warned Junior, I certainly could have, but who am I to play in the realm of the Gods? As Junior tapped Steve on the shoulder, he whirled around on his chair and said

S’up my negro?

Junior’s head tilted to the side, his face turned a colour called ‘hint of unimpressed’. He told Steve rather flatly that he thought his remark was offensive. Quick as a flash Steve launches back with a grin

I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were such a fag

Turns out the guy from Marketing is gay, turns out Steve might get fired, turns out I’m having a wonderful day.

Thank you Radicles, you high-fived my heart.

 

Yo! Where my tweeps at? – http://twitter.com/DUFL

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4 Comments

  1. Posted September 22, 2009 at 7:49 PM | Permalink

    rad

  2. Posted September 23, 2009 at 6:03 PM | Permalink

    Yesterday Radicles visited me. My boss was posing for a photo for The Satoralist in Degraves St when a pigeon pooped on her.

  3. SL
    Posted September 26, 2009 at 11:28 AM | Permalink

    Pauses to consider ever so briefly, if he would have been less offended had he been straight……

  4. bkdude
    Posted May 27, 2010 at 10:17 PM | Permalink

    my deity is Jimmy Smith.

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