A Bit of a Downer

22ndNov. × ’09

Since my boss returned to work he’s noticed a distinct lack of morale in our team. It has a little bit to do with the huge workload we have and everything to do with the fact my boss keeps interrupting me, hauling my infuriated carcass into his office and forcing me read the dating profiles of all the women he’s interested in, just in case they’re actually men. The process involves checking how muscular their shoulders are and seeing if their hobbies include indoor soccer. I talked him out of asking for photographs of their hands and necks as that might come off as somewhat creepy. I fear there may have been an incident on his trip to Thailand.

Sensing the blanket of malcontent our department is rugged up in, my boss took the initiative of preparing a motivational slide show for us to sit through. The majority of slides were of people standing on mountains or footprints left on a sandy beach. It was the final slide that really stood out.  The photo showed a young man in a superman costume who was clearly mentally handicapped. The message above him read “It’s time to turn this Down syndrome, into an Up Syndrome” At that point my boss gave us all an exuberant thumbs up to really hit the point home, much like the final glossy red swing of a seal club.

When Mike pointed out that this might be considered offensive, my boss countered with the argument

You can’t really make fun of retards because they’re oblivious to it. If a mongospaz doesn’t get the joke, then were you ever really making fun of them?”

I’m no expert, but I’m fairly sure he got that from ancient Zen Buddhist scripture.

Oh shit, it just occurred to me. Perhaps he wants the ones with Adams Apples.

Yo, where my tweeps at? – http://twitter.com/DUFL

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One Comment

  1. Posted November 23, 2009 at 7:02 PM | Permalink

    Your boss clearly possesses an immeasurable amount of intellect and knowledge.

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