You can tell when it’s Christmas time in an office. The atmosphere is somehow different, everyone is full of cheer, cheer being an amalgam of ‘cheap’ and ‘liquor’. The multitude of parties and lunches has certainly left some rosy cheeks and greying livers, but if being fuzzed from intoxicants creates a happier environment, who am I to Scrooge on their parade.

I was strolling through the kitchen to kill time, and find some aspirin for my boss, when I happened upon a small festive cardboard box on the counter top. The note on the side welcomed food and toy donations for the neighbouring housing projects and already it was half full of tinned food and other groceries. I immediately decided to head over the road to the supermarket and grab a few things to donate. Out of curiosity, I peered inside to see what people had given. Under some chips was a packet of condoms with a note taped to the front that read

‘your kids break my windows – please stop having them, Merry Xmas’

I know what you’re thinking “If my cockles get any warmer, my heart might start a fire”

Other people need to see this: